It’s a natural human desire to want to achieve and experience success. Whether you’re striving to be promoted at work or obtain good grades in school, it’s completely understandable to feel motivated by success. Having high standards in itself is not a bad thing. However, if you find your high exceptions lead to feeling like nothing is ever good enough, harsh self-judgment, and feelings of overwhelm to meet these standards, you may be coping with perfectionism. Continue reading from a women’s therapist to learn ways to better manage your perfectionist tendencies and experience greater inner peace and fulfillment.
Ways for NYC women to cope with perfectionism:
Become more aware of your self-talk
Tune in to your self-talk and accompanying emotions. Notice if you hold any unhelpful rules and assumptions such as, “I’m not good enough without my accomplishments” or “I need to achieve in order to be accepted”. Look for evidence and information that these rules are not facts but exaggerated perceptions. Consider the times when you were not perfect and if the worst really occurred. Try to recall all the times in your past when it was absolutely acceptable to be imperfect and you were able to cope.
Challenge your inner-critic
Perfectionism often involves a strong inner critic that harshly evaluates your behaviors and actions. See if you can start speaking to yourself with less self-criticism and instead more neutrality. For example, the next time you write a paper for a class, try stating what you did without any criticism or praise such as, “I completed my paper for class” instead of “I wrote a bad paper with a lot of mistakes”. Using more neutral language helps reduce the constant pressure to be perfect.
Shift your purpose
See if you can focus on progress and the process rather than the outcome and achievement. Identify three alternative key takeaways from a task that have nothing to do with the end goal. This could look like focusing on what you’re learning, building authentic and meaningful connections, or honoring your efforts.
Avoid procrastination
Because you fear making a mistake or not living up to your high standards, you may find you frequently procrastinate. It’s important to start acting sooner. The more you avoid a task and the longer you put it off, the worse you will ultimately feel. A helpful mantra to keep in mind is the following: “Done not perfect”. To reduce procrastination try to aim for small attainable goals. For example, if there is a task you’re putting off, try setting a timer and working for five minutes and then seeing how you feel. You can also start by focusing on the easiest or least important task and building your momentum and motivation from there.
Practice self-compassion
The next time your perfectionist tendencies arise, try speaking to yourself with love, kindness, and compassion. Remind yourself, as you would a friend or someone you love, that perfection is impossible and that making mistakes is a normal part of life. Treat yourself with grace as you embrace the notion that in life, things don’t always go to plan. Regardless of accomplishments, remember you have innate value and worth.
Final thoughts from a women’s therapist in NYC, NY
If you long to find relief from the constant pressure to succeed and develop healthier and more realistic standards for yourself, please know that support is available. You can learn to strike the balance between striving for excellence and embracing imperfection. It’s possible to improve your productivity and sense of creativity while letting go of perfectionist thinking. Through therapy for women at Liz Yarock Psychotherapy, you can become more flexible in your thinking, experience greater joy, and overcome any fears of failure. You can begin to let go of unrealistic expectations, embrace imperfection, and experience a sense of freedom and flexibility in life.
Learn how to overcome perfectionism in therapy for women’s issues
Are you tired of the constant pressure to be successful and ready to embrace a more balanced, joyful life? At Liz Yarock Psychotherapy, I specialize in therapy for women in NYC, helping you overcome perfectionism and develop healthier, more realistic standards for yourself. If you’re seeking relief from self-criticism and striving to find greater inner peace, follow the steps below. Let’s work together to help you embrace imperfection and experience a sense of freedom and flexibility in life.
- Contact me here so I can get to know you.
- Discover more about women’s mental health through my blogs.
- Live a more balanced life free from perfectionistic traits!
Other Services I Offer Online and Anywhere in New York
At Liz Yarock Psychotherapy, I provide a comprehensive range of therapy services designed to support women’s well-being. From anxiety counseling and life transitions therapy to relationship therapy, each service is tailored to your unique needs using evidence-based techniques and an integrative approach. I also specialize in working with highly sensitive persons, helping them navigate the world with greater resilience and ease. Life can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to face these challenges alone. I’m here to help you feel more empowered and confident in all aspects of your life.
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