A toxic relationship is an unhealthy relationship characterized by emotional pain, suffering, and at times physical pain. Toxic relationships occur not only in romantic relationships but also in friendships, work dynamics, and families. A toxic relationship can significantly impact one’s emotional, physical, and mental well-being. If you’re unsure if you are in a toxic relationship or interested in learning how to end one, psychotherapy can help you navigate the complexities of a toxic relationship. Keep reading to learn more about breaking free from toxic relationships through a women’s therapy approach.

Common Characteristics of a Toxic Relationship:

Excessive Jealousy and Control:

A relationship that is toxic can be filled with immense jealousy and envy. This jealousy can lead to excessive controlling behavior. Controlling behavior can look like telling a partner how to behave, what to wear, what to eat, what decisions to make, and where/who/how they can spend time.

Toxic and Inappropriate Communication:

Toxic relationships are marked by certain communication styles. A toxic relationship often involves hostile, sarcastic, critical, and disrespectful communication.

Dishonesty:

Toxic relationships are usually coupled with lies and dishonesty. This may look like a partner acting deceitfully, hiding, or concealing important information.

Manipulative Behaviors:

Manipulation can look like gaslighting, causing you to doubt your truth, sanity, and sense of reality. It can also look like financial manipulation, controlling your money and financial freedom. Similarly, a toxic partner will often take little to no accountability for his/her behavior. The partner will often blame others for their behavior and shift the focus.

Disrespect:

A person in a toxic relationship will often experience disrespect surrounding their space, boundaries, feelings, thoughts, and needs. This is often accompanied with disrespectful communication.

Isolation:

A sign that you may be in a toxic relationship is if you find your partner is isolating you from the outside world. This may look like keeping you away from your friends, family, and people you know. It can involve limiting your connection by phone and text to others.

Codependency:

Another common feature of a toxic relationship is codependency. A codependent relationship is marked by an unhealthy reliance on one’s partner to meet his/her emotional needs.

Abuse or Neglect:

A toxic relationship can be marked by various forms of abuse including physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. It can also lead to feelings of emotional neglect and isolation.

Why people stay in a toxic relationship:

There are various reasons why a person chooses to stay in a toxic relationship or has difficulty ending one. This is a complex relationship and it’s important to be deeply compassionate with yourself when navigating the push and pull of a toxic relationship. Some common reasons people stay in a toxic relationship are:

• Loneliness and fears of being alone. Society puts a lot of pressure and has set expectations that it is vital to have a partner and not be alone or single.
• Hope for change. Believing that your partner has the capacity to change and evolve
• Emotional and/or financial dependence on your partner
• Manipulation tactics and gaslighting
• Lack of support. Limited resources and support can make it extremely difficult to leave a relationship.
• The cycle of abuse which can feel extremely difficult to break

Breaking out of a toxic relationship can be difficult and it’s important you are compassionate and kind to yourself. It’s incredibly brave to take the first step of recognizing you are experiencing an unhealthy relationship and that you want to make a change. It’s important to know you don’t have to go through this experience alone. Consider reaching out to friends, family, and a psychotherapist for emotional support, guidance, and lasting recovery.